Two of my friends started dating

And though things seem to be going great right now, I can’t help but worry about what might happen if they go south.

I realize fretting about the future is a moot point, but in the meantime, I’m also starting to feel a little left out.

I'm torn between my own desire for lasting relationship bliss and my desire to preserve the most important friendship in my life. —Something Has to Give Submit Your Own Question to a Therapist Your friend is going to be hurt. When you made the choice to start hanging out with your best friend’s ex without telling her, that’s when you made the decision to hide your actions, and possibly your feelings, from her.

On some level you must have known that she would be bothered by it, and you chose not to tell her.

I wish I could tell you otherwise, but I think you already know this. You feel this man could be the love of your life, and you’ve chosen to begin a relationship with him.

Obviously, it's easier said than done, but remember how you used to act before they became a couple.

Years later, I’d go see him DJ with my friends, and I immediately became a fan. No games, no “how doing”—just a mutual excitement that we had finally put faces to names.

We “met” as NYU students; while I toiled after class at a major record label, he wrote for the school paper. ) and was the only cordial and responsible person I emailed with for work.

I never even knew , or at least I didn’t think I did.

Mutual friends would incredulously ask why the two of us weren’t seeing each other.

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